SEBAB LU MAKCIK, GUA STRESS!

There's too many things to write!

First, TOBY!
I went to UPM's vet this morning with Huzir. Huzir have to take an emergency leave. As we entered the ward, I saw toby lying. Silently. But when Huzir called his name, he was meowing so loudly and trying hard to get up. He can't get up because of his spinal. but he kept meowing and kept pushing himself try to stand up. Everytime he about to stand up, he fell down again. I was crying to see him like that. His eyes were okay, because last time, his eyes were swelling. The wound on his head is.. recovering. but the only major concern is about his spinal and there might be a fracture at his jaw because he can't even lick.

:(

I'm so sad. Huzir called his name so many times and he respond to huzir's voice. He kept meowing all the time. He really tried to get near to huzir. He put his face at the door of his cage, and huzir touched him and huzir said that toby is purring. :( Toby missed Huzir, I guess.

I was so so so sad. I want him alive. but I don't want him to suffer like that.
It is such a big loss.. :(

I remembered the first time huzir and I went to the SPCA to adopt him, we didn't really saw him that time because he was sleeping. But we touched him and he was all manja. That is why we adopted him. He is just one ordinary cat with a big fluffy tail. But he is not that ordinary. He is extraordinary.

For the first time we bring him back to Huzir's house, he didn't leave the house at all. He will keep on following us wherever we go. and he even accompany huzir when huzir is making a house for him. :| he is such a clever cat. smart cat. he will be waiting right outside the house door until someone opens the door to let him in. without fail! he likes to bite on people's hand. the playfull bite. and whenever we hide our hands away, he will find for our feet to lick and bite. and he purrs a lot. He never shit around the house. and whenever he is about to shit or he is shitting, he will make this one voice.. the .. pftt i don't know how to say but it is so funny. :)
and he likes to sleep right next to huzir. and he really fell asleep okay! he plays with human more than he plays with cats. There are so many things to describe about Toby. All I know, I'm not getting another one and no other cats will be the same as him. Never!

I visited him yesterday and he died yesterday. 11/11/2009. We couldn't see him suffering like that. he might be like that for the rest of his life. I don't want him to suffer eventhough I love him so much.

While I was in the ward, I almost faint. Feeling nausea. My vision goes a bit dimmer and everything seems to be ... moving. and my knees were shaking. I have to close my eyes and get the doctor to switch on the fan. Lemah semangat, is it? :(

The doctor said.. put him into sleep is the best way. Kesian toby. Minta maaf, sayang. :(
Toby died. Hopefully I'm making a right decision.

Huzir buried him at the house backyard.

Toby dah masuk syurga. You are free now. No need to feel anymore pain.. :')